Well, the Sun came up this morning so as we have grown accustomed to in these situations John McCain is back on the attack against his rival John McCain. The fierce fight between the maverick John McCain of the sometimes not so distant past and conservative lapdog and Bush’s boy toy of 2008 has been a virtual bloodbath to this point.

The current battle over immigration and border security started back in 2006 and as always John McCain found himself on the opposite side of the issue as that of John McCain. John McCain, in accordance with his unabated man love for George W. Bush, had adopted Bush’s position that comprehensive immigration reform was needed.

“Our nation’s immigration system is broken. And without comprehensive immigration reform, our nation’s security will remain vulnerable. That is why we must act.”

John McCain in 2006

His rival John McCain however ran on a harder anti-immigrant position last year. While many people will argue that John McCain was simply pandering to the racists and bigots that make up a large part of the Republican base this is just a wild guess.

[I] have pledged that it would be among my highest priorities to secure our borders first, and only after we achieved widespread consensus that our borders are secure, would we address other aspects of the problem in a way that defends the rule of law and does not encourage another wave of illegal immigration.

John McCain in 2007 refuting the words of John McCain in 2006

Recently John McCain has responded to his rival, John McCains, attack on his lenient immigration and border security policy by saying …

“We get in this kind of a circular firing squad on immigration reform in the Congress of the United States, and the lesson I learned from it is we’ve got to have comprehensive immigration reform.”

John McCain in 2008 Defends himself against John McCain’s Smear Tactics

This furious debate back and forth over the past 2 years between john McCain and John McCain is growing even more heated and the media has finally caught on. Watch this short video about the brutal back and forth between the two men. It’s hard to tell John McCain from John McCain but if you listen to the context I think you can distinguish between them.

[youtube width="500" height="394"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBzJvoS5iJE[/youtube]

Clearly the reporter is also confused about which John McCain was which and she even seems to make the common mistake that they are both the same person. I fully understand this and will admit to making the same mistake when I was younger. What finally clued me in was the realization that the paradox created by so many opposing views within one person would be fatal.

It would be simpler for the Democrats to win in November if they were only facing one opponent. However by their deception the Republicans have found a way to field two candidates, both named John McCain, who together represent both sides of nearly every position. If John McCain ever stops fighting against John McCain the results could be devastating for the Democrats.

(h/t to The Carpetbagger Report and Think Progress)

William ~ WWJV4.com

If the creation museum isn’t fantastic enough to sate your Bible based entertainment needs perhaps you would be more interested in the Unicorn Museum. “Based on the idea of ‘if it’s in the Bible, it must be true’, The Unicorn Museum promotes belief in the Biblical Truth of unicorns, a creature mentioned nine times in the KJV Bible.” (h/t Trailer Park Feminist)

Jesus’ & Chompers Fight Crime

No word on the website if we will get to see an exhibit with Jesus’ dinosaur. Thats always been my favorite Bible story.

p.s. this is satire just like the creation museum. You didn’t seriously believe that a “museum” that features man and dinosaur living together was serious. Suckers! You all just fell for a classic example of Poe’s Law.

p.p.s Here is John Scalzi’s old but timeless review of the creation museum.

[youtube width="500" height="394"]http://youtube.com/watch?v=jXf8COiHMuM[/youtube]

William Ludwig ~ WWJV4.com

Today John McCain stopped in the 9th ward of New Orleans in an effort to pander up a few votes and take a few shots at his rival John McCain. Analysts have long been wondering why John McCain had not used this tactic earlier considering John McCain’s horrible record on support for the aftermath of Katrina. Late or not John McCain was in rare form today landing several potentially campaign ending blows on his rival.

McCain Attacks McCain on Actions Day of Levee Breaking

Let Them Eat Cake!

In New Orleans today John McCain stated that had he been president he would have been on a plane and headed immediately to the nearest Air Force base. This is clearly an attack on John McCain who chose to celebrate his birthday with the President on the day the levee’s broke instead of coming to the aid of those effected by hurricane Katrina. Of Course John McCain was only a Senator so having a photo op with best buddy George Bush probably seemed more important at the time.

McCain Attacks McCain on Handling of Disaster

Throughout the day John McCain repeated his pledge that “Never again will a disaster of this nature be handled in the disgraceful way it was handled”. Many believe that this statement is attacking his opponent John McCain’s refusal to vote for many bills providing relief for the people of New Orleans. Below is a list of bills that John McCain voted against provided by The Democratic Party.

• McCain Voted Against Emergency Funding Bill, Including $28 Billion for Hurricane Relief
• McCain Voted Against Five Months of Medicaid For Hurricane Katrina Victims For Up To Five Months
• McCain Voted Twice Against Establishing A Commission To Study The Response To Hurricane Katrina
• McCain Opposed Granting Financial Relief To Those Affected By Hurricane Katrina

McCain Attacks McCain Supporter John Hagee

A while back John McCain sought out and was proud to accept the endorsement of Pastor John Hagee. Hagee has gained notoriety for saying, among other things, that Hurricane Katrina was a punishment from God sent down to smite New Orleans because of the gays. A viewpoint that John McCain obviously shares, otherwise the endorsement of such a bigoted and hateful man would never have been accepted let alone sought out.

Today, standing in front of the people of New Orleans, John McCain attacked and denounced the hateful words of John Hagee.

It’s nonsense, it’s nonsense, it’s nonsense, it’s nonsense, it’s nonsense. I dont have anything additional to say. It’s nonsense, it’s nonsense, it’s nonsense, I don’t have anything more to say…it’s nonsense. I reject it categorically. ~ Via Think Progress

By extension John McCain was also denouncing the hateful embrace of those words from John McCain. No response yet from John McCain or John Hagee after this attack on their faith, a topic that has so far been off limits between the two men. In the highly religious Republican party the John McCain that manages the most endorsements from hateful bigoted leaders will have a huge advantage in November.

John McCain’s wholehearted support and poorly hidden man love for George Bush makes him particularly vulnerable to these kinds of attacks. If John McCain wants to survive until the general election he needs to fight back against these attacks. Otherwise John McCain will continue to contradict everything John McCain has spend the past 25 years building. The way things are going I won’t be surprised if John McCain doesn’t succeed in completely destroying John McCain’s image as an honest politician and maverick, an image already in tatters.

Besides, if John McCain could raise more than the paltry 15 million a month he would probably attract beautiful and talented women too. As it is I think the McCain Girls are doing great and should keep at it. It takes real skill and courage to pull off this kind of brilliant satire. Stephen Colbert has to be jealous. Thanks for the laughs and I look forward to the next song.

[youtube width="500" height="394"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqiWrKkILOU[/youtube]

Update: I got an email from a reader that this video wasn’t working.  Well I checked and it appears that “This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by The MCPS – PRS Alliance Ltd.”.  Thats too bad because it was hilarious. ~ William 4/9/08

If you remember back in January John McCain made a scathing attack on John McCain’s ability to fix our failing economy saying that John McCain “doesn’t really understand economics”. As expected this attack did not go unanswered. John McCain countered in the very next sentence by assuring voters that even though he may not understand economics, his financial adviser Phil Gramm did. In a surprising show of partisan unity John McCain agreed with John McCain that if there is one thing voters can count on John McCain doing, its following his advisers and lobbyists.

Those watching this back and forth expected that to end the fight but then stories started popping up exposing the pivotal role Phil Gramm had in creating our current economic crisis. No word on whether or not John McCain was behind those stores in an underhanded attack to smear his rival John McCain. No matter though the Democrats smelled blood and both Hillary and Barack jumped into the economic massacre.

The beating that John McCain endured would have ended the candidacy of a lesser man, but John McCain fought right back. In a deft move that countered not only his fierce rival John McCain’s earlier statements but both Hillary and Barack, a political triple play if you will. Yesterday John McCain released a statement that he in fact knows more about the economy than the entire Democratic party and that his grandpa invented the economy. He then took reporters on a bus tour of the economy’s childhood, pointing out historic landmarks, sharing candy, and telling really long stories.

This fight between John McCain and John McCain is just starting to heat up so a response is almost guaranteed. What isn’t so clear is if the Democrats can take advantage of the Republican infighting. One thing is certain though, if John McCain and John McCain don’t stop tearing each other down before the General Election the Democrats will surely walk to victory.

Gotta Love the Onion

There has been a growing debate between the pro-science crowd and the makers of the creationist propaganda film “Expelled” (The one with Ben Stein). Of course I’m referring to debate in a very loose manner as its impossible to actually have a debate when the anti-science position is represented by clowns who make everything up as they go.

Anyhow the whole affair started off poorly for the makers of “Expelled” when they had PZ Meyers thrown out of the theater, yet through an incredible display of incompetence allowed his guests to remain in line. Along with his wife and daughter PZ Meyer’s guest was none other than Richard Dawkins! Read his review of “Expelled” here.

If your not familiar with creationism, or as its called when they are trying to force it into schools – intelligent design, the argument basically boils down to … “Anything that science has not yet proven with 1000000% certainty is a wild crazy guess and therefore could just as reasonably be attributed to magic.” Thats a simplification of course, in practice its much dumber than that.

John S. Wilkins, a prominent Darwinist scientist has shown the courage to stand against Darwinists like PZ Meyers in support of the main point in Expelled, that Darwinism was the root cause of the Holocaust. In his story Stein is right: Darwinism causes antisemitism over at Scienceblogs.com (the same site that hosts PZ Meyers blog) has created a compelling outline of historical events. Here is a short excerpt and I highly recommend reading the entire history. I never knew how far back Darwinism’s influence reaches.

38CE: Thousands of Jews were killed in Alexandria, under Darwin’s influence, as reported by Philo.

315CE: Constantine published the Edict of Milan. [...] Jews lost many rights with this edict. They were no longer permitted to live in Jerusalem, or to proselytize.

325CE: The Council of Nicea decided to separate the celebration of Easter Darwin’s Birthday from the Jewish Passover. They stated: “For it is unbecoming beyond measure that on this holiest of festivals we should follow the customs of the Jews. Henceforth let us have nothing in common with this odious people…We ought not, therefore, to have anything in common with the Jews…our worship follows a…more convenient course…we desire dearest brethren, to separate ourselves from the detestable company of the Jews…How, then, could we follow these Jews, who are almost certainly blinded.”

337CE: ChristianDarwinian Emperor Constantius created a law which made the marriage of a Jewish man to a Christian Darwinist punishable by death.

339CE: Converting to Judaism became a criminal offence.

343-381CE: The Laodicean Synod approved Canon XXXVIII: “It is not lawful [for Christians Darwinists] to receive unleavened bread from the Jews, nor to be partakers of their impiety.”

367-376CE: St. Hilary of Poitiers referred to Jews as a perverse people who God Darwin has cursed forever. St. Ephroem refers to synagogues as brothels.

379-395CE: Emperor Theodosius the Great permitted the destruction of synagogues if it served a religious purpose. Christianity Darwinism became the state religion of the Roman Empire at this time.

380CE: The bishop of Milan was responsible for the burning of a synagogue; he referred to it as “an act pleasing to God Darwin.”

415CE: The Bishop of Alexandria, St. Cyril, expelled the Jews from that Egyptian city.

415CE: St. Augustine wrote “The true image of the Hebrew is Judas Iscariot St George Jackson Mivart, who sells the Lord Darwin for silver. The Jew can never understand the Scriptures and forever will bear the guilt for the death of Jesus Darwin.”

418CE: St. Jerome, who created the Vulgate translation of the Bible Origin of Species wrote of a synagogue: “If you call it a brothel, a den of vice, the Devil’s refuge, Satan’s fortress, a place to deprave the soul, an abyss of every conceivable disaster or whatever you will, you are still saying less than it deserves.”

489-519CE: Christian Darwinist mobs destroyed the synagogues in Antioch, Daphne (near Antioch) and Ravenna.

Read The Whole Story Here

Remember that Darwin’s On the Origin of Species wasn’t published until 1859 yet prosecution of Jewish people goes back way before that. Interestingly enough the earliest event on this time line is well after the ascension of the Christian religion into power and the vast majority of antisemitism was perpetrated by Christians. Those same Christians who are trying to blame it on Darwinism. Well, its not like conservative Christians to avoid responsibility and prosecute a whole group of people based wholly on their beliefs so Im sure there is no connection. I mean, Christians just want Jews to be perfected after all.

I wish this was all an April Fools Day Joke, but sadly Creationism and the delusions it causes are real. If you know someone who is afflicted by the tragic disease of fundamentalism there is some hope. Scientists have located the gene that causes Christianity and are working diligently to develop a cure. In the mean time you can find some peace by reading the Top 10 Creationist Discoveries of All Time. Thanks for reading and have a happy Aprils Fools Day.

Wow, has it been five years already? I mean, wow. It feels like it was just yesterday that we set out to remove the eminent threat posed by Saddam’s WMD’s bring down an ally of Al Qaeda instill democracy and free the Iraqi people invade Iraq and set up permanent occupation. On the other hand it feels like we have been together forever. You are a breath of cash life right into my military industrial complex heart. This may sound selfish but you have made me and my friends in the defense industry incredibly rich happy.

Five short wonderful years have passed since that incredible spring day and I wouldn’t change a thing. We set out to change the world together like a pair of love struck teenagers with not a care for strategy, regional history, culture, or anything else. Sure we made some mistakes like anyone else. Sure maybe we should have listened to Dick Cheney in 94′ when he said that invading Baghdad would be a quagmire. But then we would have never fallen in love. The important thing is we have stuck to our guns despite a strong effort by the liberals to expose the truth spread lies and we have come up with ever changing reasons for occupation never changed our story. We said things were going great in Iraq 5 years ago, and we’re still saying it today.

I want you to know that with you there is no mission or objective. I am not going to just use you to achieve a strategic national security interest and then move on like those others in the past. Our love is true and will burn as bright and clean and long as the oil under your beautiful soil. With you it’s different than with every other war. With them everything was so ordered and planned out, sure there was some spontaneity and excitement but it all felt so strategic. With you it’s just like the first day together every day. I can’t help but feel that even if we are blessed with McCain’s 100 years together nothing will ever change.

I would like to apologize for the way you have been treated at times. Some around us have claimed that you are too high maintenance and the trillions in debt are severely damaging America’s economic health. Some have claimed that the cost in lives and wounded is too great, or that I am sacrificing too much pursuing a reckless and unnecessary war. I say that love is worth any cost. So if being with you means another 4,000 dead American soldiers, 30,000 severely wounded soldiers, another million dead Iraqi’s, and displaces another 20% of Iraq I say that our love is worth it.

Five years may not sound like much against your centuries of conflict and inner turmoil, but you’re almost the longest relationship I have ever had. Sure I may have flirted with some other wars, and there is that whole Afghanistan thing that we won’t talk about, but they never meant anything. You know that you are always going to be the one that I build permanent bases and come home to. I just want you to know that no matter what, as long as there is a Republican in the White House, I have no exit strategy for our love.

Thanks for the past five wonderful years, I can’t wait to see what the next five, ten, fifty, or even one hundred years has in store. Sure you may feel like we still don’t understand you after all this time, but I know that we will be together for a very long time. So maybe our leaders like John McCain will never get the difference between Sunni and Shi’a, but your great oil reserves mystery is part of your charm.

I love you,

George

This does bring up the question of what Ron Paul has been doing the past few months. He did swindle raise a bunch of money after all, and for a while was enjoying a fair share of press and media attention. So why hasn’t Ron Paul been out making speeches, kissing babies, tearing up the air waves, and selling his craziness with the world? Well, after talking with some friends, and doing a lot of research, I think I found the problem.

Below you will see a weather map for today. It shows high pressure systems over Colorado and Texas. If I know anything about how weather works (I don’t) these high pressure systems should be producing strong winds blowing to the east and the low pressure systems there. These winds of course wouldn’t even be discussed when talking about the campaign strategy of the average candidate. Surely Obama and Clinton would never let a little wind prevent them from getting their talking points out there. Though perhaps this has something to do with McCain leaving the country. Of course, that could also have something to do with the Eliot Spitzer story and the prostitution ring being busted. Hmmm… Anyhow, about Ron Paul.

Some of you may be wondering what wind has to do with Ron Paul’s amazing political disappearing act. He is after all slightly larger than Kucinich so its not likely he would have been blown away (though he doesn’t have the hot wife to hold him down (lucky Kucinich)). Well, your partially right about not being blown away. Unlike normal people, Ron Paul is crazy. Also unlike normal people, Ron Paul has shunned conventional travel in favor of making his way from state to state by Balloon.

Yeah, Balloon. Okay, technically its a blimp, but as far as I can tell its the same thing just bigger. When you take that into account with the strong winds blowing to the East you can guess what has been keeping Ron Paul out of the spotlight. He was blown out to sea and only recently managed to make it back. In fact if you look closely at the recent picture taken of his balloon you can see where its headed .. out to sea!

So Paul drones, now that you know where Ron Paul has been don’t you feel better? I can imagine how pissed off I would be if I donated money for a candidate who blew off campaigning and instead pocketed the money or wasted it on totally wacky things. I can’t wait to see the huge impact Ron Paul is going to have now that he has confirmed he is still in the Republican race. With a few months alone in his balloon to think I bet he is going to really shake things up. McCain won’t know what hit him!

You can see the entire list by going to the page linked above, but here are the top and bottom 10 for your convenience. They also have a list of music that makes you dumb if your interested. Spoiler Alert…Beethoven makes you smarter.

The 10 Books That Make You Smarter …

• Lolita*
• 100 Years of Solitude
• Crime and Punishment*
• Freakonomics
• Catch 22*
• Atlas Shrugged
• The Alchemist
• Cats Cradle
• Enders Game
• Life of Pi

The 10 Books that make you Dumber

• The Coldest Winter Ever
• The Holy Bible*
• B More Careful
• Nervous
• Flyy Girl
• Farenheit 451*
• True To The Game
• Addicted
• The Color Purple
• Zane

So there you have it, the Bible ranked as number 92 in the top 100 books that make you dumber. Of course this isn’t scientific and is mostly intended to be funny, but its still interesting. I have personally read 5 of these, 3 of the top 10 and 2 from the bottom. How many have you all read?