[youtube]yZchvDcgdJA[/youtube]

h/t Friendly Athiest

Part 1

Part 2

Tip of the hat to Huffington Post for posting this video.

This does bring up the question of what Ron Paul has been doing the past few months. He did swindle raise a bunch of money after all, and for a while was enjoying a fair share of press and media attention. So why hasn’t Ron Paul been out making speeches, kissing babies, tearing up the air waves, and selling his craziness with the world? Well, after talking with some friends, and doing a lot of research, I think I found the problem.

Below you will see a weather map for today. It shows high pressure systems over Colorado and Texas. If I know anything about how weather works (I don’t) these high pressure systems should be producing strong winds blowing to the east and the low pressure systems there. These winds of course wouldn’t even be discussed when talking about the campaign strategy of the average candidate. Surely Obama and Clinton would never let a little wind prevent them from getting their talking points out there. Though perhaps this has something to do with McCain leaving the country. Of course, that could also have something to do with the Eliot Spitzer story and the prostitution ring being busted. Hmmm… Anyhow, about Ron Paul.

Some of you may be wondering what wind has to do with Ron Paul’s amazing political disappearing act. He is after all slightly larger than Kucinich so its not likely he would have been blown away (though he doesn’t have the hot wife to hold him down (lucky Kucinich)). Well, your partially right about not being blown away. Unlike normal people, Ron Paul is crazy. Also unlike normal people, Ron Paul has shunned conventional travel in favor of making his way from state to state by Balloon.

Yeah, Balloon. Okay, technically its a blimp, but as far as I can tell its the same thing just bigger. When you take that into account with the strong winds blowing to the East you can guess what has been keeping Ron Paul out of the spotlight. He was blown out to sea and only recently managed to make it back. In fact if you look closely at the recent picture taken of his balloon you can see where its headed .. out to sea!

So Paul drones, now that you know where Ron Paul has been don’t you feel better? I can imagine how pissed off I would be if I donated money for a candidate who blew off campaigning and instead pocketed the money or wasted it on totally wacky things. I can’t wait to see the huge impact Ron Paul is going to have now that he has confirmed he is still in the Republican race. With a few months alone in his balloon to think I bet he is going to really shake things up. McCain won’t know what hit him!

– Original Email –

A Coincidence????

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye…and science shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart is red and has four chambers. All of the research shows tomatoes are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows that grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop over 3 dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet the body pulls it from the bones, making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Eggplant, Avocadoes and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? …. It takes exactly 9 months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

Onions look like body cells. Today’s research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

“The news isn’t that fruits and vegetables are good for you, it’s that they are so good for you, they can save your life.” David Bjerklie, TIME Magazine, Oct. 2003.

– My Response – Sent as Reply to All –

Amazing,
Right after work I’m going to the store to stock up on bananas and cucumbers. Seriously, WTH?? Carrots look like eyes? I have a rock that looks like an eye, is that ok to eat? What about tomatoes that are not red? Are they ok to eat? What about the bunches of grapes that don’t look like hearts? Or the ones that fall off in the bag? Are they less healthy for my heart? What If I hold two bunches of grapes up next to each other so look kind of like lungs, will that help me get over a chest cold? Sooo many questions…!

FYI Avocados don’t take exactly 9 months to ripen. This is just made up. Fact “Mexican types ripen in 6 – 8 months from bloom while Guatemalan types usually take 12 – 18 months” Source (http://www.crfg.org/pubs/ff/avocado.html). You know what else takes 12 – 18 months to “bloom”? Whales. So by this logic Avocados are not meant for human consumption, they are meant for whales to eat so that they will have healthy wombs. (Don’t forget to feed them olives too so their ovaries will be healthy) So please stop making dip out of all the whale food!

~Summer~WWJV4.com

Mainstream Media Commercial on FunnyOrDie.com

1. Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers
2. Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole
3. Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry
4. Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
5. There’s A REASON Why Atheists Don’t Fly Planes Into Buildings
6. “Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day.”­ God.
7. God Doesn’t Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
8. If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
9. He’s Dead. It’s Been 2,000 years. He’s Not Coming Back. Get OVER It Already!
10. All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry. ~ Edgar Allen Poe.
11. Viva La Evolución!
12. Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season
13. I Wouldn’t Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist
14. Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.
15. People Who Don’t Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn’t Have Such Funny Beliefs
16. Jesus is Coming? Don’t Swallow That.
17. Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
18. GOD – APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!
19. Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK
20. God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus
21. God Doesn’t Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.
22. When the Rapture Comes, We’ll Get Our Country Back!
23. Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic?
    A. He Used the Rhythm Method Instead of a Condom.
24. You Say “Heretic” Like It Was a BAD Thing
25. I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.
26. Science: It Works, Bitches.
27. “Intelligent Design” Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987
28. I Found God Between The Sheets
29. I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent
30. My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel
31. Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten
32. If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
33. Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia
34. ALL Americans Are African Americans
35. I Forget – Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?
36. I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God
37. The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative
38. If we were made in his image, when why aren’t humans invisible too?
39. JESUS SAVES….You From Thinking For Yourself
40. How Can You Disbelieve in Evolution If You Can’t Even Define It?
41. Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made?
    A. If He Hates All the Same People You Do.
42. Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex
43. I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor Understanding of the Scientific Method.
44. WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.
45. The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children
46. Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War
47. Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony
48. God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?
49. When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on
    Wednesday and Absolution on Sundays, Cash Me Out. ~ Frank Sinatra.
50. No Gods. No Mullets.

For all of our Religious or spiritual readers, please take this list in the light hearted manner it was intended. Or don’t and post tons of scathing replies, that’ll give me something to do on Sunday. lol

~ Summer Ludwig ~ WWJV4.com

Well, I just decided to take a break from writing code and saw this from Jessica at Feministing titled “Who knew I had a box for a uterus?”. This post prompted me to write because as everyone who watches SNL knows; of course your uterus is a box.

So here is the silly baby in a box video. While watching try and figure out the point they are trying to make. My wife and I have talked and my opinion is that they are saying either a) if there is a baby in a box leave it there for 9 months or until God gets it out; or b) if there is a baby in a uterus get it out as fast as possible before it gets loaded on the truck and shipped out to china or wherever boxes full of babies go. So what do you think?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTOxIFW1Mhk[/youtube]

Ok, now here is irrefutable proof that your uterus, and other miscellaneous woman parts, is (are?) a box.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=3xElIik0Ys0[/youtube]

Any questions?

Bush Zombies on FunnyOrDie.com

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

So why is it that the liberals hate freedom and liberty so much that they keep nominating people not named General Petraeus to the Nobel Prize Committee? First it was Al Gore with his Peace Prize for inventing “global warming”; now three guys with some economic “theories” win the Nobel Prize for economics.

What is with all these theories? Aren’t theories’ just another way of saying they are guessing? It’s like the theory of evolution, or the theory that man is causing the world to warm up, or the theory of relativity. All made up scientific gobble-de-gook made to scare people into the arms of big science. Seriously people, if theories were facts then they would be in the bible. As we all know the bible is all true (even the contradictory parts) and I challenge anyone to find a single theory in there. Anyone who says there are theories in the bible is lying. I rest my case.

Here are the categories and winners for the 2007 Nobel Prize, look at how these liberals have passed over General Petraeus not once, not twice, but every stinking time. Even the physics award should have gone to General Petraeus. However he values national security so much he withdrew from that category to allow someone else to have a chance. But instead of getting 5 Nobel Prizes the socialists at the Nobel Prize Foundation snubbed him because they hate the freedom he represents.

Physics – Won by two guys for developing Giant Magnetoresistance. Now we have all seen X-Men and Magneto is pretty damn scary so I don’t dispute the need for any size of Magneto Resistance. The bigger the better I always say. But the X-Men beat Magneto and locked him in a secret prison made of plastic. I think it’s Guantanamo, just one more reason to keep it open.

Fine, these two guys can keep their Nobel Prize even though their invention came too late to save the Golden Gate Bridge. Better late than never I guess. Besides, General Petraeus isn’t greedy, he can let someone win one of the Nobel Prizes.

Chemistry – Gerherd Ertl won for “his studies of chemical processes on solid surfaces”. He is just riding the coat tails of General Petraeus who performed the same experiments with the depleted uranium rounds fired by the U.S. Army. The results of Petraeus’ experiments, Freedom.

Psychology or Medicine – Three guys won it for some stem celled research with mice. Great, just what we need, healthier mice. I fail to see how this compares to the literally millions of people who have been treated for injuries in Iraq, even with less doctors. Just by sheer volume General Petraeus wins this one hands down.

Literature – While General Petraeus’ report to congress was not literally written down, or even written by General Petraeus, one cannot deny that it is the single most important piece of literature this year. Why they chose Doris Lessing for her “female experience” is beyond comprehension. Just more proof that the feminists are taking away the rights of white males.

Peace – Don’t get me started on Al “Mr. O-Zone” Gore. All he has done is promoted understanding of global warming in an attempt to save the planet. How does this do anything for peace? Wouldn’t the planet be much more peaceful if we all died? General Petraeus has spread freedom, democracy, liberty, and peace throughout the entire Middle East while at the same time personally prevented any terrorist attacks on US soil. If it wasn’t for the liberal hippies in the media you would all know that already!

Economics – I have already talked about these guys’ “theory”. Well because of General Petraeus a small group of soldiers, snipers, attack helicopters, and a couple politicians can safely enjoy an afternoon shopping spree in a market just like the ones in Indiana. Seriously, can mechanism design theory get you 5 rugs for 5 bucks? I think not.

So I am officially putting the Nobel Prize Foundation, and everyone who won a Nobel Prize on the sinners list until they give General Petraeus the recognition he deserves. I’m calling them out, if they love freedom more than they love their pagan liberal gods, they will do the right thing and give General Petraeus those prizes.