If you’re one of the chumps patriots who helped Ron Paul set two fund raising records then you can rest easily. Your money has not gone to waste. Despite being invisible for the past few months I have read today that Ron Paul is still in the race. This is good news for those who thought that with Obama, Clinton, and McCain (in that order) as the only candidates left standing that we were in for a boring few months. Now we can still laugh at Ron Paul and his band of crazies for a while longer.
This does bring up the question of what Ron Paul has been doing the past few months. He did swindle raise a bunch of money after all, and for a while was enjoying a fair share of press and media attention. So why hasn’t Ron Paul been out making speeches, kissing babies, tearing up the air waves, and selling his craziness with the world? Well, after talking with some friends, and doing a lot of research, I think I found the problem.
Below you will see a weather map for today. It shows high pressure systems over Colorado and Texas. If I know anything about how weather works (I don’t) these high pressure systems should be producing strong winds blowing to the east and the low pressure systems there. These winds of course wouldn’t even be discussed when talking about the campaign strategy of the average candidate. Surely Obama and Clinton would never let a little wind prevent them from getting their talking points out there. Though perhaps this has something to do with McCain leaving the country. Of course, that could also have something to do with the Eliot Spitzer story and the prostitution ring being busted. Hmmm… Anyhow, about Ron Paul.

Some of you may be wondering what wind has to do with Ron Paul’s amazing political disappearing act. He is after all slightly larger than Kucinich so its not likely he would have been blown away (though he doesn’t have the hot wife to hold him down (lucky Kucinich)). Well, your partially right about not being blown away. Unlike normal people, Ron Paul is crazy. Also unlike normal people, Ron Paul has shunned conventional travel in favor of making his way from state to state by Balloon.
Yeah, Balloon. Okay, technically its a blimp, but as far as I can tell its the same thing just bigger. When you take that into account with the strong winds blowing to the East you can guess what has been keeping Ron Paul out of the spotlight. He was blown out to sea and only recently managed to make it back. In fact if you look closely at the recent picture taken of his balloon you can see where its headed .. out to sea!
So Paul drones, now that you know where Ron Paul has been don’t you feel better? I can imagine how pissed off I would be if I donated money for a candidate who blew off campaigning and instead pocketed the money or wasted it on totally wacky things. I can’t wait to see the huge impact Ron Paul is going to have now that he has confirmed he is still in the Republican race. With a few months alone in his balloon to think I bet he is going to really shake things up. McCain won’t know what hit him!




2008-03-11 16:51:36
I wish some people, like you, would leave the name of the Lord out of such idiotic posts. Those of us who support Paul knew where he was. Your sardonic post was neither truly funny, nor informative. Please grow up before you insult me, my faith and my candidate the next time.
2008-03-12 09:21:24
Do you really only want to be insulted by grown ups? That’s such a strange request. While the majority of our posts are informative, this one was clearly marked satire. If you do not enjoy satire then I would skip those articles.
2008-03-11 19:05:35
“Those of us who support Paul knew where he was” Well, that makes me feel better. I felt bad thinking of the guy floating all alone over the ocean. Why didn’t you all help him get back sooner?
2008-03-11 20:29:35
I, too, am offended by everything and wish you would lay off the sardonism.
2008-03-17 12:36:31
amen Sean! While I am not a Paul supporter, I was among those that contributed during one of his record setting fund raisers, during the time that I was undecided.
As people, who have read my columns, know I finally made a choice on a candidate based 100% on the economy. That said, I agreed with financial advisers that I listen to that Ron Paul knew the least about the economy.
2008-03-17 17:55:11
How sad to be offended by everything. How do you get through a day?
2008-03-14 12:21:12
I’m sorry he’s your candidate, Elizabeth. I pushed for Kucinich last election so I know what it’s like following someone who’s largely ignored by the press.
However, as a woman and Christian, you should be offended by Mr. Paul’s positions on subjects pertaining to those of your sex. Do some research and look well at his past then maybe you won’t want to push for someone with such archaic and potentially freedom robbing opinions on women.