Dear Iraq War,

Wow, has it been five years already? I mean, wow. It feels like it was just yesterday that we set out to remove the eminent threat posed by Saddam’s WMD’s bring down an ally of Al Qaeda instill democracy and free the Iraqi people invade Iraq and set up permanent occupation. On the other hand it feels like we have been together forever. You are a breath of cash life right into my military industrial complex heart. This may sound selfish but you have made me and my friends in the defense industry incredibly rich happy.

Five short wonderful years have passed since that incredible spring day and I wouldn’t change a thing. We set out to change the world together like a pair of love struck teenagers with not a care for strategy, regional history, culture, or anything else. Sure we made some mistakes like anyone else. Sure maybe we should have listened to Dick Cheney in 94′ when he said that invading Baghdad would be a quagmire. But then we would have never fallen in love. The important thing is we have stuck to our guns despite a strong effort by the liberals to expose the truth spread lies and we have come up with ever changing reasons for occupation never changed our story. We said things were going great in Iraq 5 years ago, and we’re still saying it today.

I want you to know that with you there is no mission or objective. I am not going to just use you to achieve a strategic national security interest and then move on like those others in the past. Our love is true and will burn as bright and clean and long as the oil under your beautiful soil. With you it’s different than with every other war. With them everything was so ordered and planned out, sure there was some spontaneity and excitement but it all felt so strategic. With you it’s just like the first day together every day. I can’t help but feel that even if we are blessed with McCain’s 100 years together nothing will ever change.

I would like to apologize for the way you have been treated at times. Some around us have claimed that you are too high maintenance and the trillions in debt are severely damaging America’s economic health. Some have claimed that the cost in lives and wounded is too great, or that I am sacrificing too much pursuing a reckless and unnecessary war. I say that love is worth any cost. So if being with you means another 4,000 dead American soldiers, 30,000 severely wounded soldiers, another million dead Iraqi’s, and displaces another 20% of Iraq I say that our love is worth it.

Five years may not sound like much against your centuries of conflict and inner turmoil, but you’re almost the longest relationship I have ever had. Sure I may have flirted with some other wars, and there is that whole Afghanistan thing that we won’t talk about, but they never meant anything. You know that you are always going to be the one that I build permanent bases and come home to. I just want you to know that no matter what, as long as there is a Republican in the White House, I have no exit strategy for our love.

Thanks for the past five wonderful years, I can’t wait to see what the next five, ten, fifty, or even one hundred years has in store. Sure you may feel like we still don’t understand you after all this time, but I know that we will be together for a very long time. So maybe our leaders like John McCain will never get the difference between Sunni and Shi’a, but your great oil reserves mystery is part of your charm.

I love you,

George

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